Merry XXXmas!

So it is official, I have made it though Christmas without a major breakdown.

This is the first time in years!

Last year, right before my daughter woke up, I was a sobbing wreck holding onto the kitchen counter while my husband had no idea what to do. Not a stellar holiday tradition.

Strangely enough with everything that is going on in my life right now, I should be a mess, not the relatively calm, happy, and let's face it horny, Kir before you today.

The only thing I can think of that has made the difference is orgasms. Lots and lots of orgasms. And talking about orgasms and planning on having more orgasms. And how many times can I say "orgasms" in one post?

My work on the cam site and the improvement to my sexual well being has been frankly astonishing. Granted, there are those moments where I feel like a fat idiot, but mostly I feel like a goddess. And this has opened up whole new roads of communication with my husband about what each of us wants and fantasizes about. Also, we have been treating ourselves to toys. Just ordered a whole new set of things to hopefully enhance our intimate moments. (Gotta love holiday sales...)

I decided to work Sunday and Monday night before Christmas hoping that I would be able to make some money, and also, honestly to keep my sanity. My previous post details how fantastic Sunday night was for me. I was curious to see how Christmas Eve would play out and decided I just had to sign on last night after spending the day with family and having a great time. It just felt like the right time to get on.

All things considered, I was right! I didn't make huge amounts of money, but I did get to finally play with one regular who had never taken me private previously. I had such an amazing orgasm, that I woke up my husband sleeping upstairs. Great way to start my night. I believe that the end result of that session was mutual. I do my best work when left to my own devices or given direction from the member of an intimate and passionate encounter to play out for him. Sometimes I take the reigns and express what I would do were we together, but mostly I accept that this is their time and I'm there for their fantasy and just go with it. Within reason and without crossing any of my boundaries. On that note I did get a new member who has a fetish he was slightly uncomfortable discussing. It really wasn't a bad fetish and one I could play along with. And after a lot of conversation he took me not just private, but exclusive and we worked through his fantasy together. There came a moment when he described something I wasn't disgusted by, but would find very uncomfortable in person and actually felt relaxed enough to express that I have issues that wouldn't make that pleasant in real life, so "no, it didn't turn me on, hope that's okay?" And he was fine with that response! I made sure to do my best for him to make sure that everything that I was comfortable with acting out was sensual and sexy and just for him. And apparently it worked. He seemed quite appreciative. I don't know if he will be back, but at least he and I both got a good start to the holiday.

The one thing that my husband asked me last night, as he kissed me goodnight and sent me downstairs, was to not stay down there until 5:00am and to preferably come back up at 3:00am. It got to 2:45am and I had a few people in my room that appeared to be interested in a session. One was quite appreciative, but a bit demanding. I started talking about signing off at about ten minutes to 3 saying that unless I had a reason to stay I was going to get offline for the night.

No response other than more attempts to see more of me.

3:00am I said I was going to sign off soon.

Still lovely comments about me being sexy and wanting to see me, but no promises to take me private.

3:05am said I had to go be Santa Claus and I was signing off. I could hear my husband walking around upstairs and I said one more time, "Seriously, unless I'm give a reason in the next two minutes to stay, I'm signing off."

3:07am the new member was still just fiddling around, so at 3:08am I said goodnight to my friend that had stayed around to chat, mentioned that I would be on again and that next time take me seriously when I say I have to go. And clicked "Stop my Show." It was the first time I had done that with people in the room, but I had made a promise to my husband, and he has been nothing but supportive to me through all this and everything else we've been through lately so I had to keep it.

Today I got an email from the dithering member that he so very much wants to see me. Well then, next time, take me private!

I hope everyone else had a nice holiday and a little fun.

If we aren't having fun, then what the fuck are we doing here anyway?