Back online

So after about ten months, I'm back online cam modeling.

I decided that the holiday season would be a great time to get back into it as I will have some time off from my day job, and of course, people need stress relief, myself included.

So I started the night before Thanksgiving. Wasn't the best night I've ever had, but not the worst either. Then last night, after the gluttony that is Thanksgiving, I logged on for the second time.

Had I more time, it could have ended up one of the best nights I've ever had. Multiple exclusives. Met nice new members. Even saw some old friends and members who were impressed by the changes in me.

Also got told by a self professed "Alpha male" that I stink of sub. When I expressed I'm not that submissive and he replied I'd "need to be broken," I told him with a smile that if he tried that I'd break his jaw. I'm no one's pet to be broken. That felt great.

Was really excited when I saw a favorite regular of mine from back in the day but I had a child emergency and had to log off to spend an hour cleaning up after the Wildflower Child had an accident. She got a middle of the night bubble bath and we sang songs and ended up snuggled up together with fresh sheets and jammies and it was lovely.

I have to work my day job tomorrow, but I'm really tempted to go online again tonight. I forgot how addictive performing can be.

So I'm not crazy...

There's this crazy thing that I only recently realized...

I'm not crazy.

I have some anxiety issues and occasionally my PTSD is triggered, but that's more and more rare the longer I am away from my marriage.

I'm actually okay. I have a wonderful wildflower child daughter. I'm dating a super sexy very smart and funny woman. I've been meeting men from the dating website and making great connections I hope last. And I actually really like my silly part time supervisory position at work.

And yes, I'm a survivor of too many things to count, but the point is I'm a survivor!

I like me.

And I'm not crazy.

No matter what my ex husband claimed. He's an idiot.