You Should Get Out More

My father, who I live with, has been expressing that I should be getting out more. I haven't dated since I broke up with my last (non)boy-friend and definitely haven't seen anyone or gone out since my surgery in November. But honestly, why should I?

For the last several months I've been trying to work with the Wildflower Child's school to address the signs of Attention Deficit type issues. I've also been trying to get in contact with a physician or pediatrician who can help me develop a therapy plan to give her the tools to succeed.

This is not easy. In fact, it is exhausting. I feel frustrated at every single turn. Constantly put off and given vague ideas of who I should contact and what I should expect. Which is nothing happening quickly.

I had tried to contact a doctor at my clinic for two months. He finally contacted me yesterday and basically just said I should try medications because they are wonderful. He has never met or treated my daughter, asked about four questions and decided drugs were the answer.

My daughter is not violent or self-injurious. She is impulsive, but not scarily so, she is sensitive and can run high with her emotions and she has difficulty attending to routine or instructions. She is also doing well academically, but struggling with assessment tests because they are timed. She is six-years-old. Drugs should not be the first step. Therapy and support plans, that's the first step. So fuck you sincerely Doctor.

Then the group I had contacted doesn't take my insurance. But they recommended other doctors and I couldn't get in touch with the first one I tried to contact and after three attempts I had enough for the day.

So why should I go out when I have my hands full at home?

And then there is the whole I had a hysterectomy and my vagina got restructured when my cervix was removed. So basically, I am not interested in just jumping into bed with anyone who is available. I'm scared about restarting intimacy. And there are a precious few people I would even consider it with and of course, not available at this time.

So let's call this my second virginity, and it isn't going anywhere any time soon.

So again, why should I go out?

What I need is sleep and time and support. Not dates or parties.