I haven't spoken much these last few months as my divorce progresses. I've been afraid of jinxing the progress. Of angering my ex. Of everything.
The fear is still with me.
My ex only once admitted that he had been abusive to me. And then of course never acknowledged that again. The events of the past several days and the creation of #YesAllWomen has allowed me to open up about all my history of abuse, not only in my marriage but before and even after. And I'm trying really hard to shake off the fear and know that I will be free soon.
I am not alone.
I am not alone going through my divorce and raising my daughter.
I am not alone having survived childhood sexual molestation.
I am not alone having been roofied and raped in college.
I am not alone in that my husband abused me emotionally, psychologically and sexually for years.
I am not alone in receiving numerous unsolicited pictures of penises from men I met online in any forum; from chat rooms focusing on horror movies to dating sites.
I am not alone in that many men think they have the right to demand access to my body based purely on my womanhood.
And I am not alone in that I will not accept that assumption.
I will make it through this divorce. And I will go on with my life and be happy. Even if I'm not exactly sure how yet.