I'm sitting quietly at the table in my step grandfather's chaotic kitchen while step aunts and uncles have forty-nine simultaneous conversations on the other end of the room. I have almost finished one glass of red wine, have chopped garlic and peeled celery and eaten a lot of organic black olives.
The wildflower child is outside with her cousins, running ripshod through the cold wind and thin sunshine, having mor fun than she has all week. When she pops by for a sip of water her cheeks are red and her eyes are bright. I love how much the family loves her. So glad she has these friends.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch... The Hubby and my father are back at my parents' house going over our financials trying to figure out if we can save the house. The last time we did this I ended up sobbing and hiccuping at the table. I'm so grateful that I can be here, instead of there. I don't think I could handle it right now. I know part of the recommendation will again be to get rid of the cats.
I just want this to be over. To have a home I can afford, to have a home I can be secure in, to be done with the DUI bullshit. I just want to be able to sleep and not fight monsters in my dreams.
I finished my glass of wine and am now drinking a soda. Next will be another glass of wine.
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