Almost 20 years, and counting

In the early fall of 1993 I was at college in the way north of New York State. I had just started really partying and my dorm next door neighbor had brought me to a party full of upper classmen and alcohol. It was awesome.

Then, there was that inevitable moment when I thought, "oh god, where's the bathroom?" I headed down the short hallway to a door guarded by two almost identical uptiight sorority bitches who literally put their arms out and blocked my passage to the bathroom. "You can't go in there! T is in there!"

I looked down at the very clean, very sparkly, very expensive looking high heels they were wearing and said, "unless you want me to puke on your shoes, I'm going in." They backed up fast.

The bathroom was standard college fair, two stalls, two sinks, long mirror, unflattering light. What I didn't know was I was going to meet the most consistently important person in my life in that room.

He was leaning up against the edge of the sink trying to explain to some hapless freshman (I was of course a quite confident freshman, sure...) how to get blood out of his shirt. Taller than me (like the vast majority of humanity, and even some dogs), blonde, gentle eyes, being so kind to this other kid... I spent the rest of the party pretty much in that bathroom with C. And he has been my best friend ever since.

I would not have survived college without C, and he says that was mutual. We shared classes, secrets, drunken confessions, boys, sometimes even clothes. We cast each other in performances and writings, we took day trips and went to the strangest gay bar in the North Country. We both had illegal pet cats in our dorms at one time or another. We made out publicly and often, danced and dreamed, cried and cackled and loved fiercely. We talked about growing old together when we couldn't find partners and wondered how many cats makes you a "crazy cat person." We were inseperable.

Then we graduated.

In a big way the intellectual part of my life stopped when I left college. I had my double major in English Writing and Speech & Theatre and no plans. I was married a bit over a year later and have really focused on surviving in the intervening years. There hasn't been time or money and my passions got worn down by stress and strife and heartache. For years C and I were out of touch while he went on and got his Masters and started teaching and I did whatever job I could to pay the bills; bartender, model, secretary, marketing manager/ad specialties procurement, receptionist, veterinary technician, telemarketer, pet sitter, cam model...

Facebook reconnected us. And it was like there was no pause, no lost time. We picked up where we left off, and for me at least, the love and connection was just as strong, just as vibrant. I cannot see a life worth living without my friend C.

Last night we chatted on facebook for four hours, until 3:00am, about anything and everything. Boys, sex, college, tv, movies, Doctor Who, cat puke, dog puke, boys, sex toys, laundry, boys...

We have been friends, best friends, for almost 20 years. It is worth giving up almost an entire night of sleep to have someone like that in your life.