Meditations on being a switch

"You would be a good ruler. Submissives always make the best rulers."

I'm my free chat room last night, a friend was joking about how I should have my own ladies in waiting and a duchy. I was laughing about whether or not I'd be able to fuck the ladies in waiting and how many gentlemen callers I'd have, and that I'd be fair and equal to my subjects, when a new member made a comment about me being submissive. And it took me by surprise. To be fair I was wearing a tight black brocade corset, lace boyshorts, black lace top thigh highs and my killer black ruffled heels. And the makeup was totally vamp. I had commented that the corset was bothering me so I changed my position to kneeling to take the pressure off my ribs. The member typed "sit up." No "please." And I did. Then settled back down on my heels for the conversation.

I'm used to posing as asked, it is one way to get private sessions. I tend to demand a please, depending on my mood, or make a comment about how that's all you get in free.

That comment wiggled around in my brain for a moment and I just had to ask, "what made you think I'm a submissive? I'm actually a 'switch.'"

We ended up having a very interesting and intriguing conversation about "the scene" and his involvement in it.

I have had only virtual encounters recently, and only with D/S (Domination/Submission), I don't participate in Bondage/Domination or SadoMasochism. But the encounters I've had, have been incredibly fulfilling and I shared a bit of that with this new member.

About a decade ago I was very into B/D with light restraint (four part tie down, no handcuffs, blindfolding) and sensation play (feathers, fingernails, hot wax, no beating/flogging/whipping). It has been years since I've tied, or been tied down. Might be time to try it again...

I have a current partner who's particular flavor of play made me go to the great internet to figure out exactly what we were doing. I have known him for about six months now and every single one of our sessions, from the very start, has been wildly fulfilling and eye opening. He is nothing but respectful and appreciative and humorous. The first time he came to my room on the cam site, I knew he was different. I don't remember the exact series of events, or why I submitted so quickly and easily to his directions, but I was comfortable, and safe. Never saw his face, or heard his voice, only the typed directions and his responses to my obedience. I had at least three orgasms that first time. I was stunned. Simply by submitting to his directions and following them exactly, my arousal was heightened dramatically. He never once called me a derogatory name, never threatened, never showed any signs of disappointment. If I accidentally sped up or slowed down, he would gently correct me, and he was right. The slow steady buildup and down to the second control of my masturbation was wildly effective. Still is. And no, he doesn't require me to call him "Master" and has not called me his submissive, even though we are in a D/S scenario.

What is fascinating, and apparently true from what I have read and heard through my limited grapevines, is I have most of the "power' in that situation. It is my pleasure he is working toward, his orgasm is held off for as long as possible and it is only when I become completely overwhelmed with pleasure that he cums. I have been able to see his face the last several sessions, and I can see what my behavior does to him, how tightly he controls his own responses in order to maintain the session for as long as possible. And I tease him and tell him that I would love to reverse the roles, although I believe he is incapable of being a switch. He is always amused.

These sessions always leave me satisfied and content. I have willingly let go of control for a little while, and have regained a sense of balance and calm. What makes this work so well for me, besides the financial benefits of being paid well for my time, is the mutual respect and trust between us. I know, truly know, that he would never try to hurt me or push my limits too far. And he knows that I will do whatever he asks of me, knowing what my limits are. It is a perfectly balanced and completely erotic scenario that I enjoy passionately. Also he calls me things like "perfect sexy goddess" and that gets you very far.

There is also a man who comes to me specifically to be told exactly what I'm going to have done to him. He has a certain fetish that I am particularly well suited to. He wants forced body modification. Not for real, just to imagine sitting in that chair at the piercing studio and forced to be visibly, heavily, modified. I don't even have to take off my panties. He has actually said that I am "too good!" at this scenario as he orgasms relatively quickly from the detailed nature of my suggestions. He feels badly that I lose out on money because he won't stick around after he cums. He keeps coming back though, so it works out in the end.

Another client likes to worship me and show me his body and do whatever I tell him to do while he masturbates. I am kind, but firm, and try to keep him going as long as possible (time is money) and also because I know that if I bring him to the brink and then keep him there, he will have an amazing, body encompassing orgasm. The blissful look on his face when he finally comes, is a great reward. Often I will play with myself during the scenario and make sure that I have at least one, if not multiple orgasms before he is allowed his. Win-win for all.

Do I want to don a latex dress and six inch heels and have random anonymous encounters with people draped in whips and chains? Never. I'm allergic to latex. Also I don't particularly enjoy anonymity. Yes that is how I make the majority of my cam living, masturbating or posing for people hiding behind a handle and obscuring their faces. But for a truly successful and enjoyable scenario that involves any sort of Domination/Submission, I have to know the other person at least a little bit. Unless you are as perfectly matched to me as that first partner I discussed. And it has only gotten better as we have had numerous sessions over the last six months.

Why do I enjoy these control games so much?

I believe because it removes the impulse to over think. When I am being directed, I trust that the directions will lead me to a place of deep and intense pleasure. And so far I have not been disappointed. When I do the directing, I know I am giving a gift of pleasure. And with both I am filled with mutual respect, trust and admiration. These scenes stand out in my new career as a sex worker, because they require more intimacy and trust than just grabbing the nearest toy and getting myself off. And the members involved know this, totally. A good D/S scene for me is all about pleasure and respect and knowing how to play each other to the best frequency. And I am so blessed to have found the partners I have to express this side of me.