Strength

I have an online only "Mama friend" I met through La Leche League International's forum when the Wildflower Child was a newborn. We've been Facebook friends for well over three years now. Play games online together, comment on pictures and posts. Care about the trials and tribulations of each other's lives with the distance of never having looked into each other's eyes or given a hug.

She is pregnant with her third child. Today she had a test to find out if the child is a boy or a girl. She will give birth to this child the last week of this month.

And then he or she will die.

Baby #3 has been diagnosed with short cord syndrome. This is a uniformly fatal disorder.

My friend, while I'm sure doing her own private grieving, has been nothing but strong and calm on her Facebook page. She continues to play her games. Has complimented my tattoo pictures. Is the model of resignation and acceptance.

She can feel the baby move.

I remember the first fluttering kicks of the Wildflower Child. I was laying in a warm (not too hot) tub trying to take some pressure of my back, when it felt like butterfly wings or bubbles floating around in my slightly swollen belly.

My heart is breaking for her. I don't know if there will be another baby, those are questions one doesn't ask.

This woman is exemplifying strength to me right now. I wish there was more I could do for her, but I will send messages of love and support, and play games and laugh with her when she laughs, and cry quietly for her loss.

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Update: Joshua was born on March 26th, 2013, at home, after my friend had started induction medications. This was not planned. He arrived alive. His heart beat for 2 1/2 hours after birth. My friend came home March 27th. She is the strongest woman I know right now.