Fucking bananas

And no, I don't mean I've gone fucking bananas. I mean "FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING BANANAS!"

The last time I intentionally ate a banana, I was in elementary school. I've been allergic to them now for about 3 DECADES. Within the last two years, my allergy has gotten exponentially worse. Think "peanut allergies on a plane" bad. Like, I probably should not go to small ice cream parlors where they serve banana splits, bad. I discovered this delightful turn of events at my telemarketing job over a year and a half ago when a coworker peeled a banana to snack on during work and I immediately began to itch and lose my voice, he was behind me 20 feet away. I never saw the banana. It became policy that there were to be no bananas peeled at all in the office while I was there. But apparently some people always have to push the envelope; "What if I bring it already cut up in fruit salad?" "What about banana yogurt?" "What about if it is just in its skin in my bag?" "What if I eat it over there?"

FUCK YOU ALL! I have two, count them, TWO, allergic reactions to these fucking fruits. One causes me to itch like crazy. The other CLOSES MY THROAT and CONSTRICTS MY LUNGS!

I do not have a doctor.

I do not have an epi-pen. (Yes I know that sucks, but I just don't.)

I should not be afraid to go to work because people just have to have a fucking banana at snack time.

Needless to say, there was a banana peel in the lunch room garbage when I got to work tonight. After 2 hours, I sounded like Minnie Mouse and had started scratching holes in my hands. I got sent home.

I'm going to lose my sick/personal/vacation time, because someone didn't think that I would react to something that was left in a communal area that I use.

Assholes.

Oh and by the way, I'm also allergic to benadryl and will likely die if I take it. Last time I was given it I was a toddler and I went into a coma.

Fuck you allergies.