I am a Web Cam Model.
I get naked on camera for men (and women) who want to find sexual release while looking at me.
I am NOT a filthy slut. I do not prostitute myself (although I find nothing wrong with that in the right situations). I do not cheat on my husband. I do not lie. I do not abuse myself or anyone else. I don't even consider playing incest games. I am not a plumper or a fat slut or a little whore.
Last night was rough.
I have family issues going on that are really dragging me down and I was very hopeful that going online to my cam site would improve my mood. I have been blessed with some of the nicest regulars you can imagine. Good senses of humor, considerate communication, you know, friendly!
Then I went on last night. And either people were coming in and out of the room without saying anything, or...
I finally got a paying customer who even took me "exclusive" and wanted phone too. So I did that. And then he started calling me horrible things. Most of what I have already mentioned. I am sure there are some women who either don't mind that kind of talk, or get off on it. I am not one of them. I froze. I really really need the money. I needed a paying customer. I needed to play along. So I tried to keep him interested and going without succumbing to the verbal barrage of disparaging remarks. And when he disconnected without warning, I quit my show all together.
This was the first time that a member made me this sad. I found myself getting ready for the day today wondering what I'm doing. I know I need to lose weight, but my appreciative members call me "curvaceous" or "soft" or "warm and welcoming." The don't call me things that make me feel like a holiday turkey.
I know my belly is too big and soft and my arms need to be toned and my thighs are expansive. I also know that I can be sexy without being demeaned and enjoyed without being humiliated. I will not allow this kind of behavior. I can't afford it.
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