Trying to move on...

Nothing has been resolved with the husband. Nothing ever is. I do love him when he is the man he could be all the time. He can be funny, gentle, kind, giving, attentive. Unfortunately for a long time he's been more mean, selfish, dishonest, mercurial and ugly than the good things. But I am a victim of Hope and keep staying calm and moving on.

In spite of everything, I went to work on Saturday, did not do well at all, but then I had my Summer Solstice party Saturday evening and that was great. I wish I could spend time with these friends more often, but even once a month or so is so rejuvenating.

Everyone looks good in the dark, and by candlelight.

Look at me, completely relaxed.

Today I was so tired, I had to have Hubby get V ready to get picked up for her day with my family while I tried to sleep just a little longer before my meeting. What was my state's chapter of the Modified Dolls has just decided to break off and become our own local non-profit and today was the first meeting of the "Tattooed, Not Heartless" organization. We will be modified individuals working to raise funds and awareness for local charities while working to erase the negative stereotypes associated with body modification.

Then I met my family for some time at my aunt's house and had way too much dessert after dinner. But hey. I haven't been eating enough for days.

I still don't know what to believe. I am waiting for the results of my husband's blood draw to determine how much I can believe him. But at least I still have friends who love me, a daughter who is amazing, the cutest cats in the world. Seriously. And some damn fine ink.

And now I have to go to bed. My new tattoo is annoyed with me and wants me to go lay down with my arm straight so the ink doesn't come out. It is in the crook of my elbow. Because I'm a nut.

Good night world.

I love you.