Finding my Flow

Hooping has obviously become and incredibly important and sustaining part of my life, but it isn't always easy. Especially when I'm sick or worn down (as I have been for the last several months) it is a struggle to find the energy to make the effort to hoop. And when I'm psychologically not doing great, I see the videos of performers like Tiana Zoumer, Gail O'Brien, and Deanne Love and think, "I will never be able to do that."

Part of my problem, when I can really sit back and think about what is holding me back, is shame and discomfort with my body.

Now that may seem like a ridiculous statement coming from someone who has spent a significant amount of time getting naked for other people (not just cam modeling, but I have also been an artists' model over the years and even posed for my own art teacher in college). But I am and have always been uncomfortable with my body.

I took some video of myself hooping last week and noticed that I have trouble picking my feet up and really dancing with the hoop, and I slouch even in the hoop. As though I don't want to take up too much space, when really, hoop dancing requires one to find your own space and own it. Hooping has changed my body significantly, but I need to love my body to find my flow and truly dance with the hoop.

Today I plan on making yet another new hoop (I have a ton of hoops) and trying out some moves I've been watching and just crank some music and play and see if I can stand a little straighter and release myself from the ground and just, flow.

In the mean time, here is some love and inspiration from Tiana Zoumer in celebration of World Hoop Day which was 10/5/13.