Desperate

So I tried another cam site last night. Up until now I have always worked through Streamate.com, last night I tried myfreecams.com for the first time.

Today I just want to cry.

I need money, a consistant source of funds, and cam modeling was doing that for me for a while. But after I got sick this spring and lost so much time online, it has basically dried up. Regulars that I thought I could depend upon have left me. Everyone wants it all for nothing. Free shows, free peeks, free everything.

I can't give it away for free.

Last night I was doing okay, getting to know people, chatting, being my friendly self. And then a "guest" (not an actual member) spent an hour telling me that I have to increase my cam score, which was dropping by the minute, in order to get better placement on the site, but would not tell me how to do so. People would come in the room and demand to see my pussy or ass or for me to strip. For nothing. One guy showed me his cam and wanted me to humiliate him. He got off. For fucking FREE! No tip.

I made $1.50 last night.

I made $0.70 in the two nights prior.

I used to make $30-$70 per night only working three hours.

I'm thinner than when I started. I have more tattoos. I am trying to be more open and fun.

And I am being dragged over the coals by stress and desperation and the need to get more income as soon as possible. I have to be able to make up for the fees my husband's DUI is going to cost us. I have to make sure we can keep our home.

And then, as I was in the middle of conversations, V woke up and I had to shut off the computer and run to my screaming child in high heels and a corset.

Today is not one of the days I enjoy being a cam model. I miss the fun, and the friends and the money and the orgasms.

Fucking cam factories and porn stars are killing me. No one wants a real woman with real limitations and desires and personality.