I really thought, naively, that life would be easier after the divorce.
In some ways it is, I don't live with him after all. But in others it is awful. I applied for and was granted child support. Which he can't pay. I've gotten multiple delinquent tax notifications thanks to my ex. I have to navigate visitation with him and trying to have a life without inconveniencing my parents.
And damnit I want adult time.
I've been dating a wonderful woman for seven months now and our time alone together is ridiculously limited.
And I was dating a nice, but conflicted, man for six months. I'm actually on an online dating site communicating with men looking for connections that make sense. Because I'm comfortably polyamorous, even though I don't have the time I wish I did.
Sometimes I wonder if my thirst for attention and connection is a result of long term isolation or inherent wiring. I honestly don't know. I do know that I get uncomfortable with the idea of being everything for one person or expecting one person to be everything to me. It doesn't seem fair.
And yes, I want sex.
I'm a healthy, young-ish, vital woman and I want to enjoy that part of my life. Alas being in my situation makes that very difficult. But a girl can dream.
